This is the second in a series of blogs looking at why we need men to help us break down the structures and systems that hinder progress in achieving gender equality. We will look at the role of men in gender equality and how their place within the patriarchy can be used as a leverage for the change we wish to see.
Who holds the power
The unfortunate reality is that power is held by men. They hold the majority of the top jobs, are more likely to be taken seriously in male-dominated sectors, and control much of the decision-making processes that impact on women’s ability to thrive.
Despite this, gender equality initiatives are still overwhelmingly aimed at women. Men are frequently kept out of these discussions and therefore don’t have access to information about the challenges women face. In turn, this impacts on their understanding of inequalities, what they can do to help or how the patriarchy impacts them as men.
As all good communicators know, tailoring your messaging to the audience you want to take action is key to success. Therefore, for the gender equality movement to be its most effective, change needs to be targeted at the very top of the patriarchy pyramid, to those who have the power that we are trying to redistribute, and to find a way for men to participate in the most positive and productive way possible.
What is keeping men at arm’s length?
Masculinity is already a difficult ideal to live up to and, when men fail to do so, they lose social status and thus power. Research has shown that being told they now need to compete against women, or that a woman would be taking their place at work to meet gender quotas, can leave some men feeling threatened. In turn, this can lead to hostile positions on gender equality initiatives or even downright sabotage.
Men generally take one of four positions when it comes to gender equality, according to multiple studies on the topic:
Hostile: They are actively hostile to gender equality and other feminist issues.
Silent aggressors: They are passively hostile to feminism and associated issues but ignore them in the hope they will go away.
Passive supporters: They are in favour in principle but do nothing and remain silent.
Active supporters: They favour gender equality and are active participants in conversations and initiatives that aim to achieve egalitarian workplaces, social lives and other environments.
Where they fall depends heavily on where they are in life and how much power they hold. However, the perceived lack of power that some men think comes with implementing feminist changes in society has led to resentment, which in turn has contributed to a growing community of conservative misogyny percolating online.
Overcoming resistance requires addressing men's fears and emphasising the benefits for all genders. By involving men as active supporters and allies, we can accelerate progress toward gender equality and create a more inclusive society for everyone.
The fact is that the patriarchy isn’t just bad for women. Men are hurt by it too – sometimes in ways they don’t even know. Men must perform the version of masculinity that the social researcher R.W. Connell refers to as ‘hegemonic masculinity’ – the ‘ideal man’ (wealthy, professionally successful, well-dressed, strong) – to secure status amongst their peers. Achieving this version of masculinity is not easy; few men achieve this ideal, and none can live up to it their entire lifetime. This hegemonic masculinity puts immense pressure on men and threatens to toss them to the bottom of the social hierarchy when they don’t keep up. Therefore, the argument can be made that men also have something to gain by dismantling these structures. By adapting language to better demonstrate the positive benefits of feminism for all of society, we might be able to get those in power on our side.
A movement of exclusion
Having a public conversation about the role of men in gender equality initiatives can be difficult. There are some fears that it will dilute the conversation or divert resources to those who are already benefiting from our current systems. Many within the gender equality movement want to keep men out of the conversation, arguing that giving men a voice in this fight silences the voice of women. They also fear that by having men publicly carry the messaging of the movement, we risk upholding gender norms by suggesting that women can’t fight their own battles.
While these fears are legitimate and should not be ignored, it would be foolhardy to ignore the role of men in its entirety. The reality is that more male allies will help us achieve gender equality sooner or at least much more easily. Many of the major changes for women’s rights have occurred because of supportive men – from changing the makeup of C-Suite positions to implementing equal pay or voting for sexual harassment laws.
One way to have these conversations in a productive way for all involved is by reframing the narrative: Instead of discussing what women want to take from men or what men need to give up to women, we should be discussing what we all have to gain.
You can read the entire blueprint for more about how we can help men to become better allies here.
